On a Retro Weekend in Toronto - Part B

Walking to then from Eggspectations.... Walking around the Eaton Centre.... (I bought stuff).... walking back to the hotel and nap time..... (Ok - that wouldn't have been as important if we were younger).... walking to the ROM and around and up and down .... walking back to Yonge street.... walking to the Korean Grill Table for dinner.... walking from the restaurant to the desert place..... (we needed to get some calories in us for all that walking).... walking to the hotel.... sitting to check e-mail, facebook... and the blog .....

The "theatahhhh"

There is something about attending a live theatre performance that both excites and saddens me. When you are sitting in row BB (2nd row) and almost centre stage, seeing the actor staring out - and looking at you (it seems) - spitting out his lines (metaphorically and in fact) - one can be mesmorized by the eyes, the intent, the intention, the passion, the depth....

In the past few weeks, I have been made aware of either former classmates of mine or actors with whom I have worked, that have continued in their craft - and I congratulate them for their perserverence, and skill - and admit to a certain degree of jealosy..... If I didn't have to do curtain calls, I would love to be on stage. It is an inner hunger - a thirst that I manage to quench for the most part. But it is "seeing" some one else on those boards that makes me recall the old joke about how many actors does it take to change a light bulb. The answer? One - but all other actors would stand around and say " I could have done that (better)."

Of course this is all moot, given that no one is planning to hire me to do anything on stage.... Wait! Dark. Curtain up in 5.... 4.... 3.... 2.... 1......

On a retro weekend in Toronto - Part A

Andris and I are in Toronto, enjoying a reto weekend of sorts. WIth the cats left at home with bowls of food and Barney at Aunt Shirley's.... we set off for Toronto via VIA. The original raison d'etre of this getaway was to see a production of "Barrymore" at the Elgin / Winter Garden on Yonge St, starring Christopher Plummer. Unfortunately or fortunately - I am not sure which - any talk of Plummer reminds me of my mother, who once having heard that he referred to the movie "Sound of Music" as the worst saccharin sweet crap he had ever made (or words to that effect)said thatshe could never watch him again.

Well - tonight he was very good in a part he could run the gamut of peacefully calm expression to chewing up the scenery. The script is one that, with the cute guffaws and sometimes great oneliners, any competent actor could generate the laughs, but it did seem that he was more than that. With his age, Plummer is certainly an iconic actor of his generation, with generational actors not being much the norm any more, are they? We were lucky to have had this chance to see him.

Oh BTW - the retro part of the visit has to do with eating at Frans on College and Mr Greenjeans at the Eaton Centre....

Sounds of silence

At times it groans. At other times it moans or grumbles. Sometimes one might think that it was just the rumble of distant thunder. In other eras, people might have compared the sound to the drone of distant artillery fire. I have heard that whale song is similar.

At other times there is a crack, like the snapping of a branch or a sharp crack of a whip.

Up to this home, I have never lived near a large body of water. The Madawaska has provided a unique learning experience.

Who knows whenI will get another chance to draw or paint, so I thought that I'd add my sketch and watercolour to the Point No Point blog....

It is nearing the end of February and with the new year already 1/6th down, it is amazing to think that time is on its usual racettrack course. Andris is racing away on plans and ambitions to return to jogging, and I am ... not. I am racing to a slower life, more sedentary, and less healthy.

I would like to think that it is partly the fact that every year my body my body goes into hibernation mode, with extra layers of fat....

Day Five
February 10th

Our last full day and night at PNP this Feb 2011. Over the past few days I have been trying to keep waking up at least shortly after 6am.... We have been going to bed around 10pm and so the amount of sleep is closer to 8 hrs... though my body craves more. And yet – I am fully aware or try and keep aware of the fact that in two days back in Arnprior I have a class with 3 or 4 children preparing for the Sacrament of reconciliation and I will have to be getting up at the latest 5:30 BC time (8:30 Arnprior), to get the space prepared (and me prepared!) for 7am BC time teaching (10:00 Arnprior). I was hoping that Andris would keep sleeping like he did yesterday – but today he is up with me – I made coffee, he poured it and sliced a piece of bread for each of us. A calm morning.

Andris was still antsy to go for a drive to Port Renfrew – so (I hope he truly didn’t mind... he’d never tell me if he did... mind, that is....) off he went in that direction and shortly thereafter (it was around 8:30am) I headed off to the beach, sketch pad, pencil, and paints at hand – plus blanket to sit upon. I started to sketch a tree soon after going through the gate. However, after about 10 minutes, I decided that I should really go to where there was something a bit more “unusual”. My first “real” sketch was of the windswept tree. It felt good to draw... not that how I was drawing was necessarily the thing coming out the way I saw it. I went down to the beach and at first was planning to take crayons out to draw/colour rocks, but the crayons were back in the cabin. So I decided to go back to sketch – maybe something “interesting”. Why I chose the most gnarly tree stump/root, I don’t know. In retrospect it was probably pride to show I could. While it was interesting, my pride did not have to grow from the result. Then came watercolour – acrylics attempt. I spent most of the time “trying” things – since I certainly had forgotten most of whatever anyone had taught me (sorry Mr Hyndeman!) Again a humbling experience. Mind you, the actor or peacock in me was imagining Andris coming down and seeing me from a distance, taking a great outdoorsy portrait: Anda painting rocks from the rocks. What I didn’t know was that the big camera had died while Andris tried to take a short clip out by Port Renfrew.
Ah Pride strikes again....

We went to the local restaurant for lunch (I think both of us agree that the place, though greatly recommended, and though fine, is not the “exquisite” we expected. But the restaurant HAS been closed for over a month. Perhaps it needs to get back into form.

We took our daily trip to Sooke to check the phones and internet (though until I had already packed up the first time, I thought I had left the Bell stick at the cabin – and so was delayed.) While I tried to quickly check things Andris went for a stroll – looking by chance at a real estate place window of sales (we could never afford to move here – I guess it will have to be Twillingate!) and bought a $20 BC ticket. Expensive? Yes. BUT on the ticket we won in 2 games for a total of $60 – that is a $40 profit. Not enough to by a place but enough to cover our gas expenses!

Back at the cabin I took a tub while Andris napped (a first – ie me in before him) but since then he has been in at least twice and plans a third time before bed.

And so the real DO NOTHING holiday is coming to an end. And I would come back to do the same “nothing” in a heartbeat.

Day Four February 9th There is something about not wanting to return to real life when one is away on holiday and enjoying life that doesn’t have the day to day cares, while at the same time knowing full well that that is unrealistic, and trying to take the holiday for what it is. A wonderful blessing – a break between real life cares.... Today was a good day of highlights and little cares. I woke earlier than Andris and went for a walk – just within the property of the resort, without heading to the shore. I spoke to a couple as they were leaving – and when I asked if they had been here before, the man said no – but that his wife’s sister had been, and that time had been in the hot tub when the lid fell on her and she chipped a tooth (!) AND YET she still loved it. To them, if after all that she still thought it worthy to recommend, it should be tried – and now they too are “satisfied customers” likely to return. After a “break-fast” at home, we drove out to Sooke to the Vienna Bakery for internet connectivity, lattes, coffees and sweet somethings. We spent a good hour there or so, then went to Whiffen (?) Spit – which Andris says we did in a previous trip. It was like a dog park with people walking dogs mostly off leash and enjoying one another. We spoke to many – but one gentleman, formerly DND, had 3 beagles - Missy (a hunter), Travis (a happy-go-lucky pup) and Sinclair. Another was a woman who had moved here 10 years ago when her husband had retired. She had a young lab playing with Travis. Somehow it seems that the older adults who move here are all slightly eccentric.... or is that what one needs to move to Vancouver Island? The man with the three beagles had his own commentary – which, as a immigrant, is an astute observation. The first year the newby arrives, compared to locals, he/she dresses in anticipation or gratitude of warmer weather – ie in shorts and bare legs before the locals were to do so. The second year, the newby is already into winter coats and scarves at the same temperature as the year before which elicited the shorts or sleeveless tops. By the third year, the “no-longer newby”, like his fellow Vancouver “Islandites” is complaining about the ferry service to the mainland..... The man with the beagles suggested a place for lunch – a pub-restaurant by the golf course – Mulligan’s. Not bad – but definitely Valley sized portions! Arriving “home” Andris napped and I worked on pictures (great shots of the jays this morning!!!) but before long we were getting ready for my present to “Andris” (?) – massages for the both of us in our cabin. Andris had a hot stone massage by Judy, while I had a West coast scalp massage (which actually involved hot stones, foot massage as well as head shoulders massage – and she added in work on the piriformis ) by Andrea. Although I was a bit worried about Andris, who was incredibly giddy (read: nervous) before the massage, I THINK that he now “gets” the benefits. With a quick intervening shower by each (to at least get some oil out of my head and hair on my part!) we had dinner at the Point No Point Restaurant – which many people had complimented and suggested as a place worth visiting, but it had been closed for its annual January to early February break, and today was it’s first day back on track. As an aside – at lunch time there appeared to be many cars – ie many people knew that it was once more open to the public. The food was quite good – though perhaps exquisite would have been expected for the price. Andris had one appetizer, then 2 appetizers for his main. I had 1 of each with two (!) Manhattans.... Both of us had dessert and coffee. And although Andris now has already been in the hot tub while I have been writing, I would be ready to go to sleep! Tonight we have people in the cabin to of our left – and as we came home we were barked at by the two dogs in their car. Perhaps two pets is beyond what the place allows.... But – without the dog aspect, at dinner Andris and I spoke about how much it would cost to come again... perhaps a bit later in February. What a wonderful thought – even if it ultimately becomes a pipe dream.....

Day Three
February 8th

We have had such incredibly different views.... This morning there is sun and it would be impossible to pretend that we were facing China across the vast ocean; today there is a clear outline of the US coastline and the mountain chain that backs it. We see cargo container ships and self-unloaders and ferries in the distance. The winged wildlife (apart from the ubiquitous sea birds seen so far) has emerged from cover. We have seen and heard sparrow/finch-like birds but also some sort of jay (blue body with dark grey heads). The jays say that they haven’t been fed by tourists during the rains, and we should smarten up – so we did.

I have another wave category. This I started to be aware of after 4:30 in the morning. These were coastline-long waves coming in towards shore in a steady, even, almost gentle flow. Sure, they broke on the shore with a lavish crescendo, but despite their evident power, there was also an unmistakable peace in their continually regenerating force. In my comparison to our stages in life, perhaps this is not as much a specific age, but rather the bliss of those of any age who know who they are, what they must do and have the blessing of deep inner serenity. Ah – the truly fortunate.

At one point Andris thought about us driving to Port Renfrew, and although I would have gone with the idea (I didn’t want Andris to feel stir-crazy), I was happier that he came to the conclusion that if we came here to rest and read and “do nothing”, we should stay around here. However, that didn’t preclude a jaunt into Sooke to go to a bakery (though originally it was to get cell signal to call home as well as for me to log on) (Andris had been able to check his stuff before the connection went) – and go for lunch at the little place we had stopped in 2 days ago. Here, after a cheeseburger for Andris and a scallop burger for me (and fries for both) I asked the owner about the neat window safety grate that was made to look like a spider’s web, complete with spider. She told us that it came with the place when they bought it about a year ago, but she understood that the artist lived not far from PNP and that we would be able to tell by his gate – that was also a spider’s web. I remembered a sign saying “something about a forge” and thankfully spotted it on our way to PNP. The gate was open and we drove up, although the man in the large workshop looked a bit surprised to see us stop.

Marty (if I remember I’ll fill in last name later)(Gilbertson), soon warmed up and not only talked about his work in progress in the workshop, but then invited us into his home... first to the ground floor with artisan shop pieces, then to his living room. I should describe his home... but words fail me. It is a 3 story building, ground floor walk out but 2nd floor open ceiling to third floor back lofty area, with the front wall facing the Juan de Fuca Strait basically with all glass. There is a balcony all around the front of the house, with a side part under a bit of a roof. Inside is full of his metal work, though he told us that he also wired and did the plumbing (I think) which saved a bit on the cost. His metal work is in lamp stands and wall corners and serpentine wine bottle racks and bird wine bottle racks and pot racks and fire place wall and fire place utensils and fire place decorative ivy” and many many candle holders, not to mention a large candelabra. Downstairs we had also been greeted by two large black great danes, and upstairs on one sofa I commented “bookend” cats (one on each end) – and Marty laughed saying that there were 6 such animals! He had worked in the oil business in Alberta, sold the business to buy the property and build the house, and his wife kept (or started) a job. What a fascinating and very talented man.

The rest of the afternoon was spent on pictures and the requisite nap, followed by a walk down to the beach just past sunset (and a couple there took our first picture together of the trip - and virtually last) – and dinner of soup and bakery buns. A glass of wine, lemon pound cake, reading, writing and hot tub to end the evening!

Day Two
February 7th

Ontario time it is 9:20, but here time it is 6:20. Andris is out in the hot tub, and I by the fire. I suggested that for Valentine’s and Easter combined, I would get him a massage here (outlined in their linked website, and I think that a hot stone massage is something he’ll go for. Huh! The man who said that he wasn’t really into hot tubs and massages...!

Now it`s evening and a bit of a filler. After me lazing about and Andris already having walked about, together we walked to the main building to use the phone. In a miscommunication between Andris and myself, we think Anne our neighbour didn’t know we had gone... and so cats may NOT have been fed for a few days! We managed to wake Nathalie up (it would have been at least 11) and she said she’d go over. BTW - I hope that Vaira has survived! (only half kidding, ie that without their own food, the other cats could have, eaten hers, and sh'd be the one without anything....)

After the calls also to home and work and Velta, we took a stroll to the beach... well, probably more aptly, the shore. Wonderful pieces of tree and roots washed on shore, with the high water mark way above the point to where we had gone down. And crashing waves....

An hour or so later we drove to Sooke, via the Spa and arranged for us to have treatments on Wednesday. Thank goodness for MasterCard (even if I have yet to be charged). In Sooke we had lunch at The Lazy Gekko, a fairly new Mexican restaurant that was given raves by all the patrons – many in because someone else said that it was good! A few more stops – and a return to the crashing waves. My job was organizing pictures, and then later... a few more hot tub soaks, which Andris has termed KFC-like”... ie you don’t do it often, it may not be healthy, but you enjoy it while you can.
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Last night I wrote that the wind was howling. That really wasn’t doing justice to the sound!!! Environment Canada had a “wind warning” for the Juan de Fuca Straits. They weren’t kidding! The winds continued this morning, and really only abated after 5pm. Before that, at least for a while, Andris figured out that standing on our deck in the wind was a good way to dry off. Who needs a towel! Today we were also treated to a sunset; even if this is the only day it is sunny at that time, we have had a glorious view.

Right now, both Andris and I are writing on our lap tops and apparently both are or about to be on the topic of waves. I have decided that the waves we have encountered, partly due to those winds, and also tides, can be compared to ages and stages of human growth. This morning the waves came crashing to shore in short spurts all over, like a petulant child stomping his or her feet – it knows that it can grab attention, has power, but somehow isn’t “all together”. When we came back from Sooke, the waves were longer parallel to the coast line – still “acting out”, but in the James Dean circa “Rebel without a Cause”, tee-shirt with cigarettes in under the sleeve. There is more sophistication than the petulant child but the energy of a late teen. By late afternoon, the waves were still long, but more steady and calm – an adult with the self confidence of experience that only age can provide. A bit later, the waves seemed to quiet even more, as the energy of youth has been spent and is no longer needed for “show”. Now, at close to 8pm, although I cannot see the waves in the darkness below, the waves are crashing once more – but perhaps with a sense of thrashing, railing against the night and a final sleep.

Ok – so that last line is a bit much.... but the rest I like. Mind you, I have yet to hear what Andris has written. When I do, I may need to revise my prose; he has a talent that I admire in putting word to paper.

Day One

February 6th, 2011


It is a miserable grey afternoon with the sound of rain pellets hammering against the windows and roof. I am sitting by the unlit fire, staring out at the whitecaps growing in size and number, as the wind buffets the lichen and moss covered trees, and echoes in the one room cabin. And – I couldn’t be happier!



That almost sounds like “it was a dark and stormy night”.... Andris was resting on the bed, and I decided to try and be poetic. Of course, what it came out like was a poorly crafted romance novel. Oh well.



We are at Point No Point Resort about 15-20 kms outside Sooke, in the direction of Point Renfrew, in cabin #14. It is a one room bedroom kitchen living room, with bathroom on roadside, but windows onto the Juan de Fuca Straight. More than likely we face a US coastline, but in the fog and rain I can imagine “the next country” is China, across the wide Pacific. The cabins are on cliffs above the water and you can hear the waves crashing to the shore. Although there a number of cabins in the resort, they are mostly placed in such a manner that you don’t see them if you are looking “straight out” ahead, and we only see one cabin’s side in one direction, though there is actually a cabin closer to the other side.



There is no TV, I am not yet sure about a radio in the clock – but certainly no cell service. Technically my Bell Stick has been “searching for network” over half an hour (I had expected to simply say “no service”). The one chest of drawers includes a couple of board games and at least one puzzle. Andris and I have varied books and other reading materials, and I have paper, crayons and paint.



Day One of a 5 day retreat. And, except for already missing our “children”, for now I really couldn’t be happier.



Day One evening – We have made use of the hot tub.... both late afternoon and now after 7pm – in the pitch black of night. The first time was spitting rain and mist, the second started as no rain , but the rain came on. The first we watched from a distance “two ships passing in the night” – ok it wasn’t night – and at night, just listened to the wind blustering through the trees, happy that the house was protection from the winds for us going to and from the hot tub.



Knowing that we are in a fire warmed (with electricity back-up ;-) ) cabin listening to the howling winds outside is a true blessing!

Question

Is there such a thing as bi-polar "light"?

Writing for one's self

"Viola"'s " i'm like a dragonfly" blog has a wonderful quote from Cyril Connolloy

"Better to write for yourself and have no public
than to write for the public and have no self".

Given that Viola and Andris are my only followers, I am likely happily writing for myself. And I felt I needed to admit somethings somewhere...

Today is a funny day. Yesterday at church someone asked me if I was OK; I said I just don't deal with heat well. Is that it? Today is hotter and I am even less "here". As I am writ ting for myself, I'll admit that I have done very little today but get up, feed cats, walk Barney just to the landing (he didn't want to go further) then sleeping again until noon. I worked a bit on the computer, watched Dr Phil and Oprah ... and only watched those shows because what I really wanted to do was go back to bed.... That is not good. In a few days I should be going back to work.

Oprah asked Simon Cowel (sp?) about his moodiness - and he admitted to black moods. She asked why is he depressed, since he seems to have it all - and he said he can't explain it, just knows it is so. He also said that if he is not feeling up, he thinks that it is worse to paint a fake smile on his face rather if he is sad, be depressed - eventually it'll pass.

Well - that is where I am now. And yet I feel incredibly guilty. There is sooooooooooooooooo much to do around the inside and outside of the house. Usually when Andris is away, this is the time I do this sort of stuff. And yet - after watching 2hrs of TV, I am back at the computer, not doing house stuff. And not moving... I could go back to sleep again.....

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

And if this were to be my last day (no worry - I'm not suicidal - I just mean some unforeseen accident) what would I have to say for my life?

Being with a group of people last night celebrating someone's birthday, as well as going to a funeral home earlier in the day for someone who died from cancer, but apparently was at great peace, gave me the opportunity to hear about people who others see as great role models, inspirations. Andris was also mentioned as being someone to emulate for his joy and sense of gratitude - and I agree. But can I express that or do it?

No.

Twins???

Does anyone see a sign of long lost twins, or is it just me,...

Still Alive

Just checking in.
End of June
much stuff at work
Sr Nancy's farewell
Prince and the Prior
Sunday Stretch
Andris' birthday present!

July
prepare animal stuff to be gone
2 weeks of SIPL
reading, writing and... HEAT / HUMIDITY
graduation
recooperation
taste of the valley
garden stuff begun
house cleaning begun
some church stuff
contemplative mass picnic
mammograms and ultra sounds
don't deal well with humidity
lots of hip,knee,shin,plantar fasciatis pain
dig out septic tank holes
Andris' birthday present!!

so far in August
continue with house
begin office cleanup
almost finish recovering septic tank holes
so far ignore garden
kapu svetki
go into work office
begin to see work piling up
getting ready to write essay
Andris' birthday present has to get finished and ordered!!!

Where am I?

A friend just asked if I had fallen off the world since she hadn't seen me in months. I have fallen off - but it is just life and life issues taking their toll on time.

And yet I have heard so much in the past few days about the suprizing, harrowing and emotionally draining turns the lives of some people have taken, that although I may be off the grid - I am soooooooo blessed for what I have and that I have Andris with whom I can share it all. Blessings beyond due.

Stewardship = not just $

Stewardship –

a Spiritual Way of Life:

Conversion to

a Life of Gratitude

Often in this day and age one hears about a crisis of faith. However, at the ICSC Institute held in Arnprior May 17-19 at the Galilee Centre, one of the speakers, Fr Joe MacKinnon from Halifax, noted that perhaps the church is really suffering from a crisis in trust – a lack of trust in God. As we try and find ways to control all aspects of our lives, we automatically negate the thought that despite our best efforts, we are not, in fact, in control. This could lead to despondency, and yet a sense of trust in our future and God comes precisely from knowing that we are not on are own, and that God is making it all happen. If all in our life is gift from God, it is precious and needs to be cared for and nurtured. Accepting the responsibility to do so is Stewardship. If all is gift, it is something not “of” us, and we do not “own” it. We accept an invitation to receive the gifts of time, talents and treasures in our life and give back in thanksgiving for those very gifts: we receive gratefully, tend responsibly, and then share in justice and love. Stewardship and being a steward of and for God is something that many have not even consciously considered, but according to the testimony given during the Institute, the benefits to individuals and parishes are immeasurable.

Gratitude is the starting point for stewardship - gratitude, in realization that all in our life is gift from God and that we need to give back for all our blessings. As this does not come naturally, a shift in attitude, a conversion, is required before we can travel on our journey toward God in this manner. The focus is not on our, or the church’s, need to receive, but on our need to give. Rather than responding to a request, stewardship is proactive. Everything important in our lives is pre-planned, and if stewardship is to be part of our lives, it then takes a proactive, conscious/intentional decision on the part of the individual, and/or the parish to become a true steward, a stewardship parish. Figure out precisely what you are going to give, then “do” it. Rather than giving of the leftovers of our time, talents and treasures, it is necessary to take an active decision and plan how you will share from the first fruits.

Accountability and transparency were mentioned by all speakers as key when discussing stewardship at a parish level. In his talk on “Parish Leadership in Stewardship”, apart from stressing that a stewardship committee needs to be set up separate from the finance committee when talking about introducing the possibility of stewardship at a parish, Steve Foran, also from Halifax, noted that all personal skills and qualities need to be considered in setting up the first committee, and that it needs a disposition of what “I” (the individual) can do. “Lord, how do you want to work through me to fulfill your will for my parish?” Furthermore, if we are to be responsible stewards, we cannot take on the job without all being clear on all the goals. And what are we working towards, for ourselves and others? Being the best we can be before God and our fellow man – being Christ’s body here on earth, and by our example inviting others to do the same. Albert Schweitzer said that example is not the “best” way, it is the “only” way. The phrase repeated at the Institute by Steve was that, by example and message we were here, first and foremost, to “save souls”. Steve also noted that while it was important to envision where stewardship could lead the parish, it was necessary to do so pragmatically, but more importantly, then act upon that vision. “Vision without action is just a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. But vision with action can change the world”.

Jim Kelley from Charlotte, North Carolina, who was a last minute substitute at Galilee for the director of the ICSC called away for medical reasons, spoke on his topic “Introducing Stewardship into a Parish”, from personal experience and as such emphasized the core of his next topic - “the Importance of Lay Testimony”. Jim began with his own and then family’s decision to focus on putting God first in their lives and then trusting in God to do the rest. Jim also made it very clear that the 17 points included in his description of how stewardship could be introduced into a parish, were not exclusive, nor to be considered as a one-step, one year programme, but rather a progressive introduction - a process for at least a generation. He added that each person has unique talents, but that part of our calling is not only to discern talents for ourselves, but to help others in the parish discern, develop and use their gift; sometimes an individual is incapable of seeing the talents that they themselves possess, but can clearly articulate the talents that they see in others.

Jim, like each speaker before and afterwards, was quick to note that often when hearing the word stewardship in a church context, a person is likely to think only of money, and that although one cannot deny that finances are always important in a church, time and talents often begin a person’s foray into stewardship as a personal practice. He noted that one doesn’t begin by giving of one’s treasure “after” paying the bills, and emphasized that that was similar to time, wherein you must schedule your priorities. Thus, you may need to change the way you look at how you plan your daily life, when you decide to give "x" amount of hours in service. If one were to begin by “scheduling” dedicated time for prayer every day (same time and same amount of time, beginning small and adding time only gradually) one could still feel amazing spiritual blessings, before going on to sharing one's time in service to others, let alone giving financially. Jim also underlined the notion that when one spoke of stewardship, it was not something that just involved the church. As a way of life it also embraces the family and community – the sharing of time and talents is not restricted to liturgies and Sundays – and leads to finding balance in one’s life.

To develop the concept of stewardship within a parish and only then introduce stewardship as a way of life for parishioners, both Steve and Jim discussed points that establish a welcoming setting for stewardship in general, and the multitude of ways and means that have been used by others over time to do so. The need for repetition, like in all forms of education, was seen as elemental. This includes the use of notices and comments in bulletins and homilies, perhaps the development of newsletters, the use of new social media networks, not to mention web pages and video clips, as well as prayers of the faithful to both highlight ways in which stewardship, even if called something else, is already active in the parish, as well as to show appreciation for those already sharing in their time, talents and treasure. By using a cross section of the parish in lay testimony, (an example given being someone speaking for just 3 to 4 minutes at the start of mass, but before the gathering hymn) (ie not before the time mass officially start) everyone, from the most senior parishioners to children and youth, can relate to some aspect of someone’s sharing in honesty and gratitude. Events in school to Sunday liturgies can be discussed using terminology of stewardship, thereby allowing children to be introduced to the concept while seeing it as a natural part of their lives from a young age.

Julie Kenny from “Sunday Visitor” spoke at length on “Recruiting, Training and Recognizing Gifts of Time and Talent” followed by “the Stewardship of Treasure”. Discussing challenges, roadblocks, differences, problems of identification as well as expressing certain cautions, Julie covered an area we often deal with in the parish and at many levels – “how” to get “whoever” to do “whatever”. The emphasis was on discernment, both on the part of invitee and inviter, the manner of invitation, the work setting provided, clarity in job description and requirements in skills and time, as well as follow-up in both training but also in appreciation of efforts. It was also mentioned that in the parish’s efforts to help identify talents within parishioners, it was the duty of the parish to remind all that service was not only to be considered within the parish, but also within the wider community. By this means all would be served – the community by service given to it, and the parish by the active involvement of parishioners in acts of service, and the individual in knowing that they were taking action on their gratitude for what they had been given. In terms of sharing in treasure, Julie talked about motives for sharing or not, generational factors, the consistency messages, challenges facing parishioners in terms of points of reference, different envelope strategies, but most importantly the need “NOT” to use the term “stewardship” when the only goal is to increase the offertory, or in the response to a crisis. That would be an incorrect use of the term, and denigrate any possible future chance to introduce stewardship to the parish as a way of life.

Mary Kelly of the Archdiocese of Toronto spoke simply but movingly about “Hospitality, Evangelization and Outreach”, followed the next day by ”Characteristics of a Stewardship Parish” – two topics that were in reality clearly interwoven, focusing on the three catch phrases used to describe stewardship: “time, talent and treasure”; “gratitude, generosity and trust”; “prayer, hospitality and service”. Mary began and ended with the comment that God is love and stewardship is love of God, others and also importantly, oneself. As such, stewardship challenges us to serve and receive hospitality graciously, reaching out observing what is needed, not what we think others need, seeing who is marginalized in the wider community, accepting the ideas of others, recognizing our own accessibility or “welcomingness” – and to see the parish as a community of people called to the mission of Jesus. We need to put a lot of time and effort in “feeding” the people so that they can “feast” not only at the Eucharist, but also at the table of the word. Good communication and the use of modern technologies is not a hallmark of all Catholic parishes, but it is something that needs to be looked at if stewardship is to be not only adopted by a parish, but to be effective in the community. Quoting Fr Ron Rolheiser, Mary said that the practice of justice is not optional by the church; rather it is just as non-negotiable as keeping the commandments and going to church. A serving parish may not start with financial stability, but warmth, hospitality and education all factor into this. God has provided every gift, and it is up to us to best use the gifts to live lives of proclamation, celebration and charity – to accept the roles of stewards in stewardship parishes.

"O Divine Spirit,

I wish to be before you like a light feather,

so that your breath may carry me where it wills,

and that I may not offer the least resistance to it."

Fr Francis Libermann

WHY BLOG?

Why Blog? Why write in a diary? It may be to have others to read your work in the case of a blog, but diaries, at least for the most part, are not meant to be read by others.

Perhaps I should have been writing a diary.

On the other hand, there is something about the possibility of someone reading your words, that imposes a greater desire - nay, need - [ASIDE: NAY???] to make what you write, if not clever, coherent, and truth be told, interesting. At least it should be more than what I subtitle my blog: gratuitous, random thoughts.

My writing, begun to act as an alternative view to Andris' blogs (ok... I admit it ... I was jealous of his figuring out this form of release)... has been quite cathartic. As those who know me well, know that being concise or direct is NOT my strong suit, whereas rambling and deductive reasoning comes more naturally. And if I write about catharsis, I have never needed an outlet for emotions, a verbal cathartic outlet, more than I have this past academic year. However, although one may or may not "expect" there to be readers, one cannot go about expressing all personal opinions, given the ether world's power, but more importantly, memory lasting over time.

And so - I have not been writing. But how I wish I could.

To have a friend, be one.

This rather trite but true phrase is one thing I learned from Mrs Sampson, my Grade 3teacher. I expect that I also learned things to help me in terms of scholastic/educational growth, but the two other things I remember "learning" in Mrs Sampson's class also had little to do with formal education:
1. Mrs Sampson's maiden name was also Sampson, so in effect, she was Mary Sampson Sampson;
2. Blue and green should not be seen except together in a washing machine.
This last pithy thought has long since been overturned in fashion - but it has a good rhythm to it (mind you, a la limericks)

But it is the first line that I have been thinking about over the past few days, and probably over the past few years with increasing frequency. There are times I feel very alone , and this blog at times seems to be my answer to that.

I have an assortment of acquaintances - GOOD and DEAR acquaintances - but very few friends - ie really close friends of the heart. There is a touch of envy in me (or is it more? Much more?) when I see others out with friends, or read about friends connections on facebook, and people discussing going out on trips with close friends, or involvement in joint activities of varied sorts.

I also know that I can cocoon and isolate myself, whine incessantly about my health, moods, and "problems"... or at least jabber ad nauseum to the unwitting friendly ear. This is not to mention that I am quite adept at looking at myself as a central character to everything. I mean - it has been so difficult for me NOT to begin each sentence with "I". I put on a good face for things at church or in a wider societal context,but often that is a role I play. When I come home I take that face off and turn inward again. And any of the above is not a good foundation for "being a friend" to someone else.

And yet I enjoy being away from people apart from Andris, and I am not sure at how much effort I want to put in to "looking" for a friend.... I may be envious I don't have one, but I also don't think that they can be created. In my mind they happen mysteriously, appearing like buds at spring, that then can be nurtured. There is a hint of something special that can be nourished or smothered, intentionally or not. And of course there has to be the element of mutuality.

Andris has a few close friends - and he will call / or they will call out of the blue. I would say that I used to have 2 "bosom friends" in Toronto - but our life journeys have taken widely divergent paths and if they were my only bosom friends,
I was probably one of several for them. Their loss in my life is far more reaching than my disappearance from theirs.

Yes I can "listen", though some may find that hard to believe, stop talking about what is wrong for me, my health concerns, etc - and yet do I give of myself to those who could potentially be close friends? I think that I have extended some tendrils towards others, but like the seeds in the bible parable, few end up in fertile soil.

Question:
Do I "miss" something I don't work for, or really "want"?
or
Is it acsually a question of semantics - and the friendship I miss is the acquaintanceship others enjoy to the max?

Early spring kayaking

My second kayaking was to be today.



Toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cold.