Change

Andris knows that I do not handle change very well. That also includes changes to routine. At the moment I don’t have much of a routine and what does exist, keeps changing.

It seems remarkable that Andris' surgery was 16 days ago, and that this is his 12th evening home. The first week I was doing most of my “work work” at home. When that wasn’t possible, one day Andy came with me, once I dropped him off with someone else and once a friend dropped in when I went out (we had been instructed that Andy was to be with someone 24 / 7 the first week). Apart from beginning the day with a cup of coffee – something we have done for quite a while, we did have a routine of doing his exercises in the morning and a morning walk after a rest, and the after noon walk after the rest after lunch. This week (the second week home) I returned to working part time at home, part time at work – and the home routine was not as strict. Again, apart from coffee, some mornings we do exercises first, some mornings we walk with Barney. I go to the office for a number of hours in mid day, to return home to go for a walk with Andris … and Barney. As Andris recuperates, he will not need me there as often (the exercise drill sergeant won’t be needed, nor will the walk timer). We might get into another routine.... or not ....

And then there is the routine, or lack there of, at work. I do not handle this change very well. This also includes changes to a sense of security, stability, or an emotional even-keel of support. At the moment I don’t have the feeling of security, stability and the even-keel that does exist, keeps being buffeted by the rollercoaster everyone is riding.

The changes at home are for the good of Andris and for that I am grateful, thankful and feel blessed. As far as the changes at work go …… I handle instability even worse than change.