My second kayaking was to be today.
Toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cold.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Just about one month
For those who read my words, but not his (- and that to me seems very unfortunate because he is such the better writer -) with just under 1 month since the quintuple bypass, I can only be amazed at the recovery that Andris has made.
"We" are up to 2 x 22 minute walks each day (and he has been fortunate to be able to sneak in an extra walk here and there given the beautiful weather), and "we" do our morning exercises as well as our stretches, and have made quite a number of excursions so as not to become stir-crazy.
As I think about this past month, like most in Ontario, it is also difficult not to be amazed at the late spring-like weather with which we have been blessed. One day when Andris was away with friends, I did take my kayak out into the cold but melting ice-encircled area of the Madawaska River near our home. My thought was that I didn't want him to know that I had gone out when he couldn't. In other years he would be the one to be itching to get onto the Madawaska, suggest that I join him - and if I did, I'd grumble and mutter all the way down to the river, but be ever so grateful upon coming back home that I did. I only went out for about 20 minutes, and then it took me 15 minutes to land the kayak (without capsizing) because of the ice at the shore line. This weekend I expect to get out again and for a greater distance (so much more ice has melted and the navigable ice-bound area has increased geometrically - I just have to remember that my body is not yet accustomed to longer paddles....) and perhaps Andris will take a picture to post ....
(Please keep checking up on http://madawaska1.blogspot.com One of his most recent posts is on dependency. Wow....)
"We" are up to 2 x 22 minute walks each day (and he has been fortunate to be able to sneak in an extra walk here and there given the beautiful weather), and "we" do our morning exercises as well as our stretches, and have made quite a number of excursions so as not to become stir-crazy.
As I think about this past month, like most in Ontario, it is also difficult not to be amazed at the late spring-like weather with which we have been blessed. One day when Andris was away with friends, I did take my kayak out into the cold but melting ice-encircled area of the Madawaska River near our home. My thought was that I didn't want him to know that I had gone out when he couldn't. In other years he would be the one to be itching to get onto the Madawaska, suggest that I join him - and if I did, I'd grumble and mutter all the way down to the river, but be ever so grateful upon coming back home that I did. I only went out for about 20 minutes, and then it took me 15 minutes to land the kayak (without capsizing) because of the ice at the shore line. This weekend I expect to get out again and for a greater distance (so much more ice has melted and the navigable ice-bound area has increased geometrically - I just have to remember that my body is not yet accustomed to longer paddles....) and perhaps Andris will take a picture to post ....
(Please keep checking up on http://madawaska1.blogspot.com One of his most recent posts is on dependency. Wow....)
When you cannot say what you want to say
I haven't written in a while, but that is not for want of ideas, or lack of words. Those I have in multitudes screeming to get out onto paper (or computer screen, as the case may be).
However, it is with the thought of restraint, preference to be circumspect, and knowledge that in this cyberkinetic, ether world we now inhabit, once in print, what I put down could come back to haunt me.
Would that some people younger than I rember that as well, before putting everything into words, that cannot be retracted or erased.
However, it is with the thought of restraint, preference to be circumspect, and knowledge that in this cyberkinetic, ether world we now inhabit, once in print, what I put down could come back to haunt me.
Would that some people younger than I rember that as well, before putting everything into words, that cannot be retracted or erased.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Change
Andris knows that I do not handle change very well. That also includes changes to routine. At the moment I don’t have much of a routine and what does exist, keeps changing.
It seems remarkable that Andris' surgery was 16 days ago, and that this is his 12th evening home. The first week I was doing most of my “work work” at home. When that wasn’t possible, one day Andy came with me, once I dropped him off with someone else and once a friend dropped in when I went out (we had been instructed that Andy was to be with someone 24 / 7 the first week). Apart from beginning the day with a cup of coffee – something we have done for quite a while, we did have a routine of doing his exercises in the morning and a morning walk after a rest, and the after noon walk after the rest after lunch. This week (the second week home) I returned to working part time at home, part time at work – and the home routine was not as strict. Again, apart from coffee, some mornings we do exercises first, some mornings we walk with Barney. I go to the office for a number of hours in mid day, to return home to go for a walk with Andris … and Barney. As Andris recuperates, he will not need me there as often (the exercise drill sergeant won’t be needed, nor will the walk timer). We might get into another routine.... or not ....
And then there is the routine, or lack there of, at work. I do not handle this change very well. This also includes changes to a sense of security, stability, or an emotional even-keel of support. At the moment I don’t have the feeling of security, stability and the even-keel that does exist, keeps being buffeted by the rollercoaster everyone is riding.
The changes at home are for the good of Andris and for that I am grateful, thankful and feel blessed. As far as the changes at work go …… I handle instability even worse than change.
It seems remarkable that Andris' surgery was 16 days ago, and that this is his 12th evening home. The first week I was doing most of my “work work” at home. When that wasn’t possible, one day Andy came with me, once I dropped him off with someone else and once a friend dropped in when I went out (we had been instructed that Andy was to be with someone 24 / 7 the first week). Apart from beginning the day with a cup of coffee – something we have done for quite a while, we did have a routine of doing his exercises in the morning and a morning walk after a rest, and the after noon walk after the rest after lunch. This week (the second week home) I returned to working part time at home, part time at work – and the home routine was not as strict. Again, apart from coffee, some mornings we do exercises first, some mornings we walk with Barney. I go to the office for a number of hours in mid day, to return home to go for a walk with Andris … and Barney. As Andris recuperates, he will not need me there as often (the exercise drill sergeant won’t be needed, nor will the walk timer). We might get into another routine.... or not ....
And then there is the routine, or lack there of, at work. I do not handle this change very well. This also includes changes to a sense of security, stability, or an emotional even-keel of support. At the moment I don’t have the feeling of security, stability and the even-keel that does exist, keeps being buffeted by the rollercoaster everyone is riding.
The changes at home are for the good of Andris and for that I am grateful, thankful and feel blessed. As far as the changes at work go …… I handle instability even worse than change.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Home, Sweet Home
Well - today was Andris first full day home. Things to learn, new routines to follow, exercises to do, habits to pick up.....Yesterday I said that I expected that today Andris would have slowed down a bit. NOT! I can't believe that only tomorrow will it be a week since his surgery. Although he says that he fatigues quickly, it is me who is falling asleep as I try and add something to the blog.
I lack Andris blogging literary prowess and skill - but I more than double his level of tiredness at one day home. Goodnight - Glad he is home, but I, if not he, am off to bed.
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